Talk about self-care is everywhere, but many people dismiss it as silly indulgence because they don’t understand what self-care is really about.
Self-care is about taking the time or making the effort to include points of joy in your life. That could be the typical self-care routine that people talk about—pedicures, getting your hair done, or a massage.
Self-care also looks like making room in your day for things you love—your favorite salad for lunch, your best playlist while you clean the house, and taking 20 minutes away from work to read a chapter of your latest book.
You can give yourself
- Time
- Space
- Lushness
- Whatever you really need in this moment
Make Time for You
Give yourself the gift of time. That could look like going to bed a little earlier so you can have more time to sleep. You could leave five minutes earlier than usual so that you’re not rushed getting to your destination. Maybe you hide from your kids in the bathroom with a book (no judgment!).
The gift of time for self-care doesn’t have to be a huge investment. You don’t have to take a whole weekend retreat to reap the rewards of a little extra time, although if you can get that weekend retreat, you should take it, guilt-free!
I like to give myself time by saying good night to my family early in the evening and buying myself a quiet, meditative 30 minutes before going to sleep. I sleep better for it and it helps me relax. I look forward to it every evening. In the morning, I take some time on the deck with my coffee and my planner, preparing for the day ahead. Those minutes are valuable to me, and when I don’t have them (like yesterday morning, which was crazy), I feel the lack.
I make time for myself by volunteering to go pick up the pizza so I can have some time with my podcast or audiobook in the car. I set aside time to hang out with my reading and writing groups. I noticed that my family does just fine without me for an hour in the evening if I need to take it. They like a mom/girlfriend that’s more relaxed and has let go of stress. She doesn’t snap at them or get frustrated as easily, which is great for everyone.
Sunday night is bath night. Our new house has a wonderful tub in the en suite bathroom with jets and everything. I’ve never in my life had such a nice bathtub. I have bath bombs and the bath tray and a bath pillow—the whole nine yards. I make the time to take my bath and relax before the week starts. It makes a huge difference, especially if I’m anticipating a difficult week.
Find Your Own Space
Giving yourself space can be hard sometimes. Where is there a place you could go to get away from everything on your to-do list for a couple of minutes? Some people love to spend time out in their garden, caring for their plants. Taking a walk can give you space, and has so many benefits for your mind as well as your body. Maybe there’s a room in your house where you can put your own decorative stamp and have things that are special to you. You can visit that part of the house whenever you need a moment to decompress.
I am lucky enough to have an office in our new house (I love this house so much!). We painted it and I hung up some of my things, brought in some of my books, and set up my desk. I’m so happy to have this space to write in and work in. Even if I’m stressed with work, I know how lucky I am to have this part of the house to retreat to to work.
Maybe your bedroom is the best place. You have super comfortable pillows and a cheerful comforter that makes it a delight to spend a little time taking a nap or reading or breathing in the quiet of being away from the rest of the goings on. All of these spaces can give you the distance that you need from stress to help you take good care of yourself. Make sure to find a space, even if it’s just the inside of your car on your commute.
Make it Lush
This might sound a little silly, but how can you make your experiences more lush? Something that is lush is “very rich and provides sensory pleasure” (Thanks, Oxford dictionary). Even little things can be made lush by making small changes.
Putting on lotion? Make it your favorite lotion in the scent you love. Watering your plants? Find a cute watering can that makes you smile to see it. Working at your desk? Put on a playlist that features artists you love. Driving to work? Cue up a podcast that lifts you up and energizes you for the day.
I work at the computer all the time, but usually in silence (and a puppy napping at my feet). I don’t need music to be productive or do what I need to do, but putting on music while I work makes the experience more lush.
I have a tendency to not notice the ways that I can increase the sensory enjoyment of them moment, so this is one I’m definitely still working on. What I have noticed so far is that little changes make a huge difference in my mood. Even tasks I don’t enjoy (*cough* dishes) go by more quickly and enjoyably when I add in things I love. Don’t suffer through your day—find ways to make it rich and full of what you love.
What Do You Need Today, Love?
Be sure to ask this important question whenever you notice that you’re feeling frenetic and stressed: What do you need right now, Love? This question might seem silly to ask yourself at first, but I promise the calling yourself “Love” thing can actually do some heavy lifting with the way you view yourself. It reminds you that you are worthy of love and care, just like your family and friends.
What would help you in this moment could vary widely, but taking a second to identify what you most need makes a huge difference in how you handle day-to-day stress at work or at home.
The right answer for me is almost always “write in your journal.” When I sit down and write all the cacophonous thoughts that are rampaging through my mind, it brings order to the chaos and I’m better able to formulate a way out of the zoo. When I try to keep it all in my head and sort it out, I get wrapped up in circular thinking and get even more stressed.
Something else might work better for you. Maybe you need to turn the radio up loud and dance or sing along. Maybe you need a moment of quiet, so you put in your noise-cancelling ear buds. Or maybe you need to Marco Polo or text your friend who is always wise and helpful when you feel anything but.
My Self-Care Today
Here are some ways that I’m showing myself some care today:
- I ordered my favorite scent in my favorite cleaner (Method All Purpose, Clementine). I have been out for a long time and for some reason they don’t carry it at my Target anymore. I’ve been limping along with other cleaners, but decided today that I was going to have my Shipt shopper check Meijer to see if they have it—and they do! I almost didn’t do this. I thought about how I have other (hated) cleaner in my kitchen already and I should save money and not buy more, even though the bottle of this hated cleaner we have is enormous and it will take me forever to empty it. I decided that since I’m dreading cleaning the kitchen today (things have gotten a little out of hand), the best way to deal with this is to put on a favorite podcast (What Should I Read Next) and use my favorite cleaner as a way to brighten things up.
- I started my day with some journaling. I woke up today feeling overwhelmed with all the things that needed doing. All the dishes are dirty, the laundry needs done, my library books are overdue, I need a menu and grocery list made, and I’m preparing birthday and Father’s Day surprises. Overwhelm leads to running around like a chicken with its head cut off, so I knew right away that even though I felt a desperate need to get started, I first needed to sit down and write. I journaled for about 10 minutes and came out of it with a battle plan and with my thoughts much more settled and calm. Taking that 10 minutes to care for myself is going to pay huge dividends all day long.
How will you make this a Self-Love Summer? Start making some small changes in your daily grind and you’ll see wonderful results in your peace of mind and mood.